i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize