yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
