Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
