my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize