Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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