My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
