sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
