stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
