rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
