u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
