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you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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