am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
