your room smells of hookers.
And success
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
