True but thats because hes a fetus.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
