did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think I died a long time ago.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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