i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
