How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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