So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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