yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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