I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
