guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
