Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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