Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
