I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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