So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
