I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
