we're blogging at a bar
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
