i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
