he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
