Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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