You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
