im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
