how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
