Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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