I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
