Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
The police scanner is talking about you again....
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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