Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
