I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
