He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
