My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
