honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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