are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize