There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
