We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
my shit smells like andre
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
