would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
