using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
