Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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