Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
