Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
