Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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