Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
