How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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