1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
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She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
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Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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