so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
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He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
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Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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