I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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